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BREAKING: NLS students not the wildest beings in Nags anymore

This piece has been written by Sreedharan V (BA LLB Batch of 2024) and Varsha Ramesh (BA LLB Batch of 2026) with inputs from the Quirk team.


DISCLAIMER: The following article is a work of satire. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or actual events is purely coincidental, and is not to be taken as true.


 

January 13, 2023 | Special Quirk Investigative Team


In a shocking turn of events that could only happen on a Friday the 13th, Law Schoolites woke up to the news of a leopard being spotted roaming the BU (Bannerghatta Underworld) campus just adjacent to Law School, causing widespread confusion among students who thought it was just another overworked colleague pulling an all-nighter, given that exams are only a week away. Our on-ground correspondents report the thoughts of the administration and the students (although they are struggling to meet their minimum attendance requirements – reflective of the true spirit of journalism the Quirk team aspires towards)


The Law School administration was positive that any wild animal infiltration into the Law School campus would be neutralised due to the state-of-the-art Rare Fauna ID system. “As long as the leopard exits only through Gate 1, we should be fine and no disciplinary action will be taken against the leopard as well”, an SBA spokesperson said. The AAD (Administrators Against Delays), sober as always, refused to give into the hype and clarified that “death by leopard” would not be considered a valid reason under the AER for attendance make-up, extension, exemption or a medical first attempt for the upcoming exams.


The student body was generally of the opinion that the leopard would bring some much-needed biodiversity to Law School. SportsComm were quick to draft the leopard as a wild card entry in the upcoming LawLiga competition – “That leopard really knows how to spot a good opportunity, and has a sharp sense of the game”, one of the members remarked. It is also reported that faculty team owners and team managers got into a tussle over whose team would get the wild card entry. A leopard sighting safari is in the works, thanks to the Nature Club. Students await more news since the SNHP and Karnataka Forest Department are reportedly in a tussle over jurisdictional issues.

 

DISCLAIMER: The following article is a work of satire. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or actual events is purely coincidental, and is not to be taken as true.

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